For people-pleasing perfectionists, every decision carries extra emotional weight. It’s rarely just “yes or no.” It’s a ticking time bomb of:
- What if I disappoint someone?
- What if I pick the wrong thing?
- What if it’s not what I expected and everyone hates it?
- What if I don’t finish it, my boss gets mad, I lose my job, my apartment, and I end up sharing a room with my mom’s treadmill?
(We’ve all been there.)
Decision fatigue doesn’t always feel like an obvious “I can’t decide.” Sometimes, it feels like the fate of everything rests on this one choice... what to eat, what to say, whether to rest or push through.
Here’s the truth: it’s probably not that deep.
But your brain doesn’t know that.
Once it senses potential threat (aka: “what if this goes wrong?”), it floods your body with stress signals. Your nervous system moves from problem-solving to protecting mode which is why you freeze, scroll aimlessly, or end up rewatching Gilmore Girls again instead of checking a single thing off your to-do list.
So What Can You Do?
There’s a lot I could say about working through the freeze response and trust me, we’ll get there for now, let’s start simple.
When you hit that “I can’t even” wall, here’s how to begin untangling it:
Notice.
Just acknowledging, “Wow, I’m in decision fatigue right now,” is powerful. Give yourself permission to notice it without judgment.
Pause.
That tiny moment between awareness and action is gold. It interrupts the spiral and gives your brain and body a chance to sync back up.
(Yes, even if you still end up groaning through another Christopher storyline… the pause still counts.)
Decision fatigue doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means your brain is at it's limit for mental gymnastics. Feeling frozen or foggy is a cue from your body to pause, not push.
Some days you’ll need to act, some you’ll need to rest, and most days it’ll be a combo deal, prioritized by your actual needs.
After you get the hang of noticing and observing your decision fatigue, the next steps are "simple":
Regulate → Ask → Take One Small Step.
Every small shift is progress. Even recognizing the pattern counts.
Over time, these pauses become the bridge between freeze and flow.
A Gentle Reminder
Decision fatigue doesn’t mean you’re broken — it means you’re tired.
You’re doing your best in a world that asks you to choose constantly.
If you’d like a little extra support:
I created a Decision Fatigue Rescue Guide a simple, printable tool with grounding exercises, reflection questions, and a checklist for those “I can’t make one more decision” moments.
Download it here → Decision Fatigue Rescue
Keep it close! it’s designed for those frozen, “I’m doing my best but my brain disagrees” moments.
You’re not broken. You’re just tired. And that’s okay. 💛
With warmth,
Candice
Licensed Therapist | Recovering People-Pleaser | Fellow Overthinker
The Congruent Soul
Email: candice@thecongruentsoul.com
Socials @candice_lmft
Website: thecongruentsoul.com (coming soon)
Helping people-pleasing perfectionists set boundaries, reduce burnout, and rediscover joy.
See you next week!
